Posting a convo with a friend.

:):) I feel like I'm about to cry.. I really don't know why.. It seems like everytime I am around more family than usual I become over sensitive..
9:57pmNicholas

there are times in out lives where we have to face certain things that we dont want to face.
9:58pmMichelle

It's moreso the how that gets me.
9:58pmNicholas

for you, you would have never delt with these issues if you were in iowa because they would never be raised you would be there and in your loving heart because you only know how to love you would never question the issues
9:58pmMichelle

I was raised in Iowa...
9:59pmNicholas

only way to do face them is head on in prayer and with questions to those who they are about

opps lol the questions would never be raised there hun
9:59pmMichelle

Tis true.. they were ignored.
10:00pmNicholas

mybe ignored but more so i htink you want to see the good so bad and you refuse to see the bad on any one so often that you honestly dont see bad things some times
10:01pmMichelle

yea..

Or I want to love someone so much I ignore the pain it causes me.
10:02pmNicholas

yes you do

however

i am about to tell you somehting very important

in our life there comes a point when we have to stop taking care of everyone else and take care of ourself and you have reached that point. time to stop thinking of what everyone else wants and decide what you want
10:04pmMichelle

I want my family to come past their differences and learn to just love one another.
10:06pmMichelle

I want to know that my Parents my brother, my uncle and aunt in Cedar Rapids and my uncle and aunt in Jesup are no longer Left out of the relational circle that is my family.
10:07pmMichelle

That when we come together we come together to see how God is working in all of our lives.. not ignoring our different beliefs.. but instead allowing ourselves to both attend eachothers Churches and encouraging each other to continually grow closer to Christ..

Not in a particular manner. But just growing closer to Christ.

Then Also learning to love one another by sharing personal memories together.. For example. Going bowling together.. I know the majority of my family would be up for that..

Randomly having a movie night.. Dinner together..

and so on.
10:10pmNicholas

hmmm

yes but in all of that it was all about them and nothing about you that is still putting everyone ahead of yourself
10:11pmMichelle

unity.. its the desire of my soul.
10:12pmNicholas

yes i know that

in all your life i have ever only known you to do things for other people even when we were home the people you saw while home was for their bennifit not you own that is wha ti am talking about

you live for others sometimes you just have to live for you hin

hun*
10:14pmMichelle

Often times I find that to be selfish of myself.
10:15pmNicholas

in some cases yes it is selfishness that drives us and we have to correct our attitudes in that but other times it is what saves us from going batty and other times it isnt selfish at all but rather what needs to be done
10:18pmMichelle

..
10:19pmNicholas

not everything we do for ourselves is sefish hun some f it just is

i mean it isnt selfish to take a shower or brush your teeh or eat

so why is it selfish to take care of our emtions and mental health?
10:20pmMichelle

but how..
10:21pmNicholas

how is it not selfish?
10:21pmMichelle

how do I handle them..
10:22pmNicholas

handle what ?
10:22pmMichelle

the only way I've ever really done that is to talk about it. Play my guitar.. become reserved to the point where people question what is going on with me..

Or the most common.. attempt to ignor them and let them blow up later.
10:24pmNicholas

well in this case you need to ask the people involved why
10:25pmMichelle

Ive been praying about that for years.

I want to know. Why do I feel such a disconnect. Its not right.
10:26pmNicholas

no its not right and untill you tell those people you feel it about you will never be at peace about and your never giving them the chace to explain and ask for forgivness
10:27pmMichelle

There is a reason for me being who I am today. I don't want to blame anyone. I only want to be able to change the course of our relationships for the future.
10:29pmNicholas

yes and talking to them is the first step
10:29pmMichelle

Then when and the how is the interesting step.
10:38pmNicholas

well the sooner the better and i would say just lay it out
10:38pmMichelle

Check out my page..
10:38pmNicholas

blog?
10:38pmMichelle

the last to people to make comments are my aunt and my cousin..
10:39pmNicholas

ok
10:39pmMichelle

my aunt is one of my relatives I have felt pushed away by..
10:39pmNicholas


the comments to me seem suoerfical yet honest in the fact tey suck at showing it
10:47pmMichelle

I'm not finished yet..
10:48pmNicholas

i was talking about theres hun not yours
10:49pmMichelle

ah
10:50pmNicholas

your thoughts are very geuniuen theres just read as a suerfical o come on you know we love you

kind of statement
10:50pmMichelle

yea...
10:51pmNicholas

i say best plan of attack is to just walk right up to them and say hey why do you treat so and so like this yet me like this and do you know it made me feel this way
10:52pmMichelle

Its not just me.

I'm just the one who knows that I have the strength to do it.
10:53pmNicholas

well get over it and do it anyways :):) you can borrow mine fr that conversation :):)
10:53pmMichelle

I don't really see that approach smoothing over so well.

So far.. my family knows there are problems that lie under the surface.. they are all to scared to say anything
10:54pmNicholas

well there is an issue you want to smooth over rather than deal with the issue
10:54pmMichelle

they dont want to make the divide larger
10:54pmNicholas

did Jesus smooth anything over or did he hit it on the head with a tem ton hammer
10:55pmMichelle

Not necessarrally.. but how did he handle speaking to the Pharicies..

he was strait up.. but also very careful how and where he said things
10:55pmNicholas

striaght and to the point

he didnt hide his intent

i dont think a public market was a very safe place to say things
10:56pmMichelle

Currently.. nor am I.. I am stating it in my reply to Wendy's question.

This way she has no ability to mis-interperate my words. they are written in black and white.

She can not minipulate it.
10:57pmNicholas

hehe using honest words although might offend some is the way Jeus did it
10:57pmMichelle

But at the same time she is learning of my concern

this will allow her the ability to sit down and think also about the things I am actually saying.
10:58pmNicholas

is the greek when he called them all a brud of vipers he litterally called them snake bastards and in the culture who your ather was, was everything and to be abstard was really bad
10:58pmMichelle

it will force her to listen.
10:58pmNicholas

indeed it will
10:59pmMichelle

Wendy is a person with whom it is difficult to get a word in..

Knowing this... Writing things out is most likely the best approach for her to contemplate things.
10:59pmNicholas

good deal

did you see what i wrote a few lines ago
11:00pmMichelle

brood of snakes

..
11:00pmNicholas

hehe

yep

snake bastards

i dont think that was the nicest thing to say in that culture in fact i think it might be = to calling a women a ho
11:02pmMichelle

tis true.. but he was also speaking the minds of many common people. Thefore relating to the general public

in a sense..

I hope you don't feel I am taking that our of context.
11:03pmNicholas

it may have been common thought yes so in the same way it might be a common thought between other members of your fam but they dont have the guts to say anything about it
11:04pmMichelle

Currently I don't feel that it is the right time to bring everything out into the open.

Yes I have spoken to most of them seperately but not about the same issues..

Yes they may thing my parents were bad parents and neglected us... but really.. is it not hurt people who hurt people..

It is deeper than my parents.. and really My parents and I have come to know and love each other.. it is an ever maturing process but still its coming.

Then it comes to the family and I see it growing worse..
11:07pmNicholas

yes

that is no good

in the end family is what matters i say they pull their heads out of the sand and deal with it
11:08pmMichelle

you say...
11:09pmNicholas

yes i say

lol
11:09pmMichelle

But what will allow them to address the issues at hand.. aside from being confronted individually.. then discussing these things and then coming together or compromise or better yet attempt to change the behavior for future growth.
11:09pmNicholas

because i have seen to many people not do that and it tears them up inside

hmmm

i find that the more public the less they can dodge the issue at hand
11:10pmMichelle

but one also has to be aware of the issue to address it.

If I were to address it that way then I to would also make them feel condemned.. just by the way I would have presented it.

This way I have sharing my feelings on a dormant stage allowing for them to ask the questions..
11:11pmNicholas

that is a possible out come indeed
11:12pmMichelle

There is no way to reach the first outcome this way
11:12pmNicholas

life is hard and family issues dont help any. if the issues are as prevalent as you claim then they know about them and the best thing to do is talk to them and get them to admit they want change and find a comprimise

talking on an individal bases might be the first step

just like matthew lays out
11:13pmMichelle

:):)
11:14pmNicholas

them first

then two

then the church

in your case

you first

then one other fam member willing to stand up with you

and then everyone
11:15pmMichelle

I know some of my family members have also been hurt by this and have been praying for the same revival I have.
11:15pmNicholas

see God has already set up the support system for you
11:15pmMichelle

I know.

:):)
11:16pmNicholas

:):) and i am here fo ryou
11:16pmMichelle

He is strong when I am weak.

11:16pmNicholas

indeed He is

you ever listen to Bebo Norman?
11:17pmMichelle

yep
11:17pmNicholas

well Borrow mine is from me to you right now

your weak im strong lets walk throuhg it together
11:18pmMichelle

:):)
11:19pmNicholas

i love you and will always do my best to support you
11:19pmMichelle

:):)

Now is where the big question comes in..

the next post..
11:22pmNicholas

brb
11:23pmMichelle

kk
11:25pmNicholas is offline.
11:27pmNicholas is online.
11:30pmNicholas

ok

im back
11:31pmMichelle

Yay.. Do you mind If I post some of our convo..

on my Blogger..
11:31pmNicholas

no prob
11:31pmMichelle

:):)
11:31pmNicholas

i love you sweet heart you know this rigt?
11:31pmMichelle

I like to keep my thoughts current in a place I trust.

Yes I do know you love me.

:):)
11:31pmNicholas

:):)

good

so i say this in love
11:32pmMichelle

I hope that last post.. comes out strong but not as a turn off..
11:32pmNicholas

finish your post turn off your computer and go spend time with Jeus

JEsus

*
11:32pmMichelle

:):)

Thats one of the huge reasons I love you
11:33pmNicholas

time for me to take my leave :):)

lol
11:33pmMichelle

You tell me to spend more time with My Savior..
11:33pmNicholas

hehehe
11:33pmMichelle

what more is there... really?
11:33pmNicholas

i just know it works

not much more
11:33pmMichelle

:):)

Michelle pushes nick into the snow.. then pulls him up only to jump on him giving him a huge hug.. then making us both fall in the snow..
11:34pmNicholas

lol i love it
11:34pmMichelle

Thatswas a good hug..
11:34pmNicholas

it was
11:34pmMichelle

That*
11:35pmNicholas

well hugs
11:35pmMichelle

Yay!!
11:35pmNicholas

lov eyou

im gonna leave you to Jesus now
11:35pmMichelle

:):)
11:35pmNicholas

talk to you tomorrow
11:35pmMichelle

:):)
11:39pmNicholas is offline.