Honest.. I hope my family actually address's this.

Michelle is beginning to face represed memories of my childhood... Was I actually loved by my family or just tollerated? 12:26am - Comment

Ryan Webster at 12:44am January 26

Don't be silly! You've been loved by many! I'm sure that included your family. I mean, at the very least look at your bro, Matt!

Michelle Burns at 12:56am January 26

I was speaking more in reference to my extended family. There are a lot of things that make me question.
Possibly adding to the reason I had and at times still have such a low self-esteem. I know my parents and brother love me.. I don't question that at all. I also have close friends that are like brothers to me, but for some of my family it has seemed as if their love for me is conditional.

Who is to say I will ever find the answers, but hey why not be honest about my feelings. More often than not, God uses the way I feel to become a testimony to many others.

I love my Savior and that will not change. I know very well that Jesus loves me. But truly how many people have felt neglected and ignored by their families..

I very well know I was one of many. Just now the questions arise.. Why?

Wendi Roed at 2:19pm January 26

I hope you don't really think that. Of course your family - all of us - love you unconditionally! I know we don't always show it or say it, but we do! We're not the best at that I know. What repressed memories are you talking about?

Kristen Rene'e Roed at 7:08pm January 26

We all love you shell.But sometimes we all just dont show it.But there is one person that will never stop loving you for sure at that is me.I will never ever stop loving you even if we are apart.I will do what ever it takes to even talk to you.
Michelle Burns at 10:24pm January 26
I love you Kristen. You have no idea how much of a life saver you have been to me. I love you sweetie. I hope that I have been able to show you that in a very real way. God has placed you in my life for a very special purpose. Any time you hit a rough spot in life you know you can come talk to me. I will be honest with you. I have no reason not to be. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you are worth less than you are. Its a lie. You are a Princess. A Daughter of Christ. You are the Bride of Christ. You are precious.

And as far as your question Wendy, there are a lot of things that I fight with myself about. Over the last few years, I have really been taking time getting to know why I do the things I do and pointing out the things that have really shaped my life.

I have drawn remarkably close to Christ in the last year. I do want to thank you for the book you gave me at my graduation party. You have no idea how God has used that to really believe that I have been hearing his voice.


Michelle Burns at 10:36pm January 26
I know very well that God has big plans for my life. Part of the process that will allow those plans to be fulfilled requires me to look upon the things that have made me me and seek out Jesus to heal the parts of my heart that have been broken, bruised and neglected.

Those things are happening and have been happening in my life for a while. When I look back into my childhood, I see a little girl who had really no self-esteem, who was torn to shreds by her classmates and didn't seem to fit in about everywhere I went.

After accepting Christ in High School, I began to see that others shared the same pain that I struggled with, so I decided instead of making their lives more difficult I will allow others to talk to me honestly and openly and that maybe by God's grace others will intern show me the love that I try to show them.

Occasionally this occurs, but for the most part not. Sometimes people take advantage of my ability to love them and try to fill their need for love through me

Michelle Burns at 10:51pm January 26

I have learned that I can not let people drain me. It leaves me completly alone and shattered all over again. But part of my question is why was I ever shattered in the first place?

So yea, mom is a bit passive.. So more than a bit passive.. But why is she passive?

There has to be some reason?
What was it that caused my mother to be passive?
In all of her relationship that intern caused her to be passive in raising her children...

Then Dad.. Why is it so difficult for him to show emotion?
Yes he is male, I understand that.. but why is it so difficult..

Is it that it hurts him to think about things past in regards to the things I am going through..

But even so regardless of my parents... With whom I am now much closer and share a very loving relationship with.. Thanks to a deep desire to truly know that my parents and my brother know that I love them.

Michelle Burns at 11:27pm January 26

Then it comes to the rest of the family.. I pray you truly know I love each and every one of you.

I do however question why it seems that my family has well for the most part always been the last to know everything that happens within the family...

Honestly had it not been for Kristen telling us things.. Well often times we would never have known anything that was happening at all.

For instance... My family was shocked to hear that Andra was married.. We didn't even know she was in a relationship...
And if we did, we didn't know for very long before hand.

Why has there been such a disconnect between all of us?

I want to know..

Is it because we possibly have different views when it comes to the Bible... Is that why it is so rare to actually encourage one another in their relationships with Christ when we are all together as a family... Should we not be rejoicing with one another the ways that God has been continually working in all of our lives.. And praying for one another.




This was taken from my Facebook.