more

Almost there?
Just arrived.. Smells more stale than I remember.

Sorrow Lasts for the night, but joy comes in the morning. Our days are not the same length as Gods. I love putting babies to sleep. Big ones too :) Hugs.


Grr. I even over estimated the comphy factor of this bed. Steves couch was a lot better.

I understand that one I slept on my parents couch for a year because every bed they had for me hurt my back. The one at Duane's is by far the best I've slept in.

You callin me a baby? :P
Only if you like it.
I'd rather be your baby than anyone elses :)


:) that could be arranged. With my families permission first though. :) reguardless of how I love you, I still want their blessings.

Of course. And we both know my family loves you :) my sisters would prolly love to play with you again.
:) it would be my pleasure.

Back at ya.

Andra may be in the hospital for quite a while if she has another stone. Please pray for her. I am very glad I got back when I did nd that the baby will be ok.

If she has another stone she will have to have surgery and get her gull bladder removed. She may be inrecover up to a month. if she ends up delivering as well we are not sure how long she will be there. Baby is 28 weeks so he will be fine as a prem, full term is around 36 weeks. Apparently gull stones are passed down.. My mothers mom has had hers removed, my mother also, now my Moms youngest sister.. and her other sister is getting checked soon. I don't think I am currentlu under medical, but I may be something I face in the future. God will take care of me. I'm glad to be aware of it though and hey im getting a good motherhood experience in the process. Abreana has been really good for me so far.

Ill be praying for all of you. I hope nothing happens.. Especially to you..

Pray especially for Abreanna. She just woke up from a nap. Before long she will miss mommy terribly.
Yea she will.. But she will have you, right?

Yea. She is young and she knows the diference. Andra and I don't want her to get confused. I can be a second mom to her, but I'm not her mom.
True

I'm not about lying to or confusing anyone. Its just not me.

She just gave me one og the biggest little hugs Ive ever had. :) Heart Melts

Blahh.. I wanna go home
Which One?
Home is where the heart is :)
So where is that?
Anywhere with you

I like hearing you explain things like that. Sorry if you get annoyed with me wanting you to explain further all the time.
With other people, it does tend to get on my nerves... But not with you.

I love hearing those kind of details! They make me feel 10 times more loved.

I wish I could tell you exactly how I feel... but I dont think words that incredible even exist.
:) well I could listen to you try until the end of the world and love every second of it.
:)

I love this I'm the first one she has gone on the toilet for! My count is 3 and one well close but not quite with a bath. I'm so proud.

Pokey
:)

How are ya?
Tired

Still
:)


I'm up now.. I was awake early Abreanna was moving a lot. I prefered her not scream so I moved her to my room.

Poke. :) Smiles :)
HeHe
Its really snowing Five inches already
Huh. Oddles of fun

Poke
:) I Miss you more than I thought I would :(
As do I..
It still amazes me how fast things moved between us...
Well it started how many years ago?

True.. How long were you holding back your emotions, and why?

Let me get home before I answer.
k.

Ill send you my response in hopefully an hour. I want to send it all at once. Then let you respond. I think things work better that way. I hope you agree.
I want you to do what you feel is right.

I told you I loved you in High School. Afterward everything happened between you and Kirsten. I let it go, but still loved you, with no clue why, I just did. Then this past week.. I wanted to know that you were not trying to get close to me to just get close to me. So I had to tell you no. Had I not we may have done so many things I would have regreted. I know its true. I still cared about you I wasnt really sure I still loved you. So I said no. Friday Night I told you I loved you without even thinking about it, then added as a brother.. Thats when I started really questioning. Then I couldn't sleep Saturday night. I wanted to know how you felt about me, but I wasnt sure you were going to tell me what you may have thought I wanted to hear or run away again. I still don't know Why I love you I just do. But after being in Chicago and talking about our passions and learning that you supported me. Well that means a lot to me. Then knowing that you have passions too. I don't want you to give up on those. It didn't seem that even if I wanted to see it work we would ultimately have to sacrifice our dreams or each other. I don't want either of those. There is the possibility that we would compliment our dreams well. I didn't want to risk it. Then Saturday night sat up thinking about everything and well I cant lie about my feelings, but wanted to see if you would say something first ignoring my "No". You seemed to have something bothering you but you wouldn't tell me so I asked how you felt about me, and then I told you how I felt. I'm still really not sure about everything. All I know is that I love you. I don't know why, but I do. I dont ever want to hurt you. I think thats all for now.

Wow... That was pretty intense.. I dont even know how to reply...
I get detailed.
And I love it. Its probably a big part of why I love you so much.. You tell me what I need to hear, how I'll hear it best...

I miss you and love you but Im not willing to do things aside from God's plan.
I completly understan. And You have my full support following whatever visions God give you

I know thats what makes me love and respect you all the more.

I love you so much more than I can discribe.. I wish I could be with you right now..
I want to know beyond know that everything is right.

I felt more right holding you than Ive ever felt before..
:) Are you positive its right?
I've never been more sure of anything in my life.

:) So what does that mean for the Future or should I not question it?
I honestly dont know.. But I have a gut feeling God will bring our paths together again.

So what does that mean for now?
We follow the paths God puts in front of us. My love for you will never die, nor my desire to see you follow your visions.

That makes me want to be with you even more. The fact that you understand and encourage me to walk with God. I cant think of a way to even ask for more love.

I have a feeling youll get it anyway :)
:) You would. :) I like it.
Hugs I love you
:)

Poke
:) Ya Know what?
Whaaaat?
I think I like you a little bit. Yea I think I do. ;) :) Cheesy Smile.
Awwww.. You like me? You really life me?
Are you ok with that?
Hmmm... I think I am :)
:)

I'm in a cuddly mood
Don't even tell me that.. Sad Panda.
Hugs Im with you in heart
:) I suppose
YAY

:P
Poke.

God

Some of you I have not talked to in a while so I want to give you an update on where God has taken me.
Currently I am not living in a suburb of Detroit Michigan called Southfield. I have been living with my mothers youngest sister and her husband for the past 4 months.
They have 2 children Caleb who is 6 and Abreanna who just turned 18monts, my aunt Andra is also pregnant and due in March.
I have been working for my uncles Computer Business "The Avant Solution" and on the side getting practical parenting experience as well as an expectation of the possibly steps through pregnancy.

Aside from these things the last year of my life has been extremely difficult but even more amazing blessed. God has taken away a block from my life that was standing in my way from seeing the true glory of God working in my life. Of course at the time I did not see it that way and I was extremely distressed. Praise God that I dislike pain and knew that He was in control. Thank you Lord for that understanding that All things work together for good for those that love you and are called according to Your purpose. Amen.

Well that is just it. I know that God has called me!

In the last four months I have been asking and seeing out what this purpose is in my life. The things that God continued to show did not seem that would be possible. Let alone through me. First off this tells me that hey, I can not do it, that's why God wants to to let Him but be obedient and go where He wants me to go and watch what He does.
I am nothing without Christ. I claim no credit to myself, but all to the glory of Christ.

So why do I ask for prayer, well because in order for me to continue strong, knowing that God is truly calling me I must be prepared to fight off the attacks of Satan, for it is know he will attack and turn people away from me. I want more and more faith to take the steps in which God will place in front of me.

The Vision:
God is moving in Detroit!!!
I see Churches coming together and hundreds upon thousands coming to know Jesus as their Savior. Hundreds of Churches, and thousands of Servants for the Lord.

These things will come to pass! I have talked to others who have also seen such things, I request the prayers and support of my family, friends and those who may have incredible insight and understanding beyond my knowledge to Gods call.

Thank you all for your prayers and my God Bless You Beyond Measure. AMEN - SO BE IT - BE IT SO

~ LOVE DETROIT ~

Love Michelle

texts

I forgot... You... :(

Are you safe?
Yes
So has anything hit you yet?
A couple of small rocks... A gust of wind or two...

I think we should have waited.
Prolly
You know what I meant.
Ok, done driving for a bit. I wasn't planning on things getting as heated as they did.. I had no idea youd be as aggressive as you were..

Sorry, thats exactly why I said I should wait. Id like that to be the last. Its just not wise for me. Id really like to stay dormant until my family has been sought out first. My family is important to me and when a man someday wants to see my daughter I would like to know about it. Maybe that's just me.
But what's done is done. I dont want our relationship to grow around physical desires. Neither of us can afford that distraction.
I understand. Just remember that I'll still love you, no matter how you choose to move forward.
:) its not my timing. I intend to make no forward movement. God will surely make things clear to a man who desires my heart. You know I love you.

But God definately has plans... Chris's boss seems extremly enthusiastic about hiring me. I have a feeling Ill be back home sooner rather than later.

Good luck. I pray God gives you discernment on His plans for you. AMEN. SO BE IT, BE IT SO.
:) follow your vision. I'll be here.. And Im equeally willing to wait for the right time.

How far are you?
East Ohio --1pm
How long till you get home?
Duno
Let me know when you find out.
Yeppers
Are you staying awake?

K. Andra ay be having her gull bladder taken out. Steve says she has been having gull stones. They are looking to taking it out without harming the baby.

So Steve just asked me if you behaved yourself.. Hmm how to reply.. My family loves me.
I did my best...
I'm sure you will get that question again someday.
Most likely
Are you getting enough rests?
Im fine
Right.. I trust you. Where ya at now?
PA

Do you regret anything?
I was just going to ask what you were thinking. I didn't even have to ask. And Im not really positive. I guess I never thought that the feelings I had for you in high school would ever be brought out again. I'm not really positive if I regret anything. I do know it will make it twice as hard to stop when I see you again.

I prefer to stay clear of getting physical. After this morning I don't know how well I can handle that. I don't want to ruin anything. I really want my Wedding day to be amazingly special. What about you? Do you regret anything?
I don't think so.. It may have been rushed, but Ive never felt so incredible in my life... So Loved and wanted

A month ago, I would have never imagined myself saying this now, let alone to you.. But I truly do love you.. With all my heart

:) I love hearing that.

Sorry it took me a bit to reply. Abreanna peed in the potty! I dont know if she has for Andra but a first for me. I'm so proud of her!

You have no idea how Happy it makes me to know that you get along with my family. I love it.

Are you getting close?
300miles...
:) I miss you. I wanna go do something crazy.
I miss you too
Almost there?
2 1/2 hours
Still to go?
yeah which is about 5 hours too long...



:) I can agree with that Hugs.

Are you past NY?

I'm sad that you made the whole trip with no sleep. I don't think i could even imagine how tired you are.

What are you thinkin about?
I just crossed into mass, Im so tired Im slightly hallucinating. and Im thinking about my warm bed.. And wishing i had kidnapped you :p

:) if it will help you can always call. I know when Im tired it helps to talk to someone to keep my mind active.

Continue of trip home.

So after Tuesday, comes Wednesday obviously. God is good.

-- Took Matt to School Talked to Mc D. Went to Adams.. Took Mom to doctors office in morning, to David's house... His dad makes guitars... Yea he gave me one.. Amazing. then lunch then picked up Matt from school then went over to Adams... Amazed... to say the least...


I made my way to youth group. I had Matthew take me and Kristen to youth group. Man It was so nice to see all of my girls again. I love them so much. I pray they continue to learn that God loves them so much and each and everyone of them is Beautiful, or as my friend Nick would say "Drop Dead Gorgeous". I am leaning to believe that myself.

Wednesday Night I was able to talk with my friend Kelsey, She is such a sweetie. I love her.


Thursday I was intending to spend the evening with my friend Makayla, but unfortunately her mother would not let her. So I ended up going to my grandparents then to see if BASIC was happening at UNI then since there was not BASIC, Matt and I went to see if Mike and Kim were home.. No they were not, but their son Eric was and he told us that they were at the Lampost so we went there to find there was a program going on so we went to Taco Johns... They dont have one in Michigan...Tear.. then we went back to Lampost to see Mike and Kim and a few others that were there.

Then Friday..
We had a 80's party at Rhett's house, I had Matt take me to pick up David at the Bowling Alley and ended up just driving down with David.
We ended up taking a few extra friends to Squishy's house and had a great time..

Thoughts that my David liked me more than I felt comfortable began to surface, but the timing was not right to bring it up and discuss it.
I was nice to relax with friends and have a good time.

Saturday evening brought for an interesting night. The weather began to get bad...

Travles

Vacation...

Sunday.. David arrived to Detroit.. We met at my Church the Royal Oak Vineyard in Royal Oak.. We ended up staying the night in Detroit then planning to head to Chicago in the morning. We did not leave until 4 oclock, we stayed to care for Abreanna while Andra was at her doctor appointment to check up on the baby. We left Detroit about 4:15 and arrived in Chicago around 8pm. We had some wonderful conversation with Duane and his wife. Then off they went to bed and David and I stayed up till about 1:30 and watched The Illusionist and talked for quite a while..

I found it nice to see David again and get to talk to him. It has been a long time and as he stated it was like we picked up our friendship where it left off.

Then in the morning David ended up talking with Duane for an extra 2 hours. So we left around Noon. On the way home it started snowing.. Yippy! Not... But we did stop at a random Rest area for David to clear his mind... This is where I found myself making snow angles. :)

Then we stopped at the Worlds Largest Truck Stop on I80 and had some late lunch around 2. After jumping back on the road, we got about 8 miles and got stuck behind about 4 miles of backed up cars. We now know that there was a 7 semi and 2 car pile up... Not so fun...

So an hour and a half of moving very slowly we are redirected past the accident. Then we find ourselves on Highway 30.... Not the one we want.... We got lost in Iowa... The state we are from... I find that Hilarious.

We arrive home about 9pm..

This is I believe the first time David has been to my parents house and he helps me unpack and consoles me on a few things I felt God was telling me to do..
We discussed these on the way home.. An incident between my Brothers friend and myself..

So after David tells me everything will be fine, I walk into the house and gather the family and share the difficult news with my family. Tears were involved.

God is good everything turned out well...
I will finish another night.

check

So I noticed this morning that since my friend David has been here my focus on Christ has been a bit scued. I have also realized that I need to continually pray harder to keep myself in line. There are things for me that feel natural with certain people and I need to pull myself back and say No this may get me in trouble.

Lord I need your help and your eyes and discernment to stay in check.

70-80% pf what comes into your head may be from the devil... He got her thinkin...

Lord keep me away from the Devils thoughts....

2

Chapter 2

God is looking for people to whom He can transfer His passion and dream. p. 25

If your going to be a dreamer, God wants you to take risks! You can't persue a dream without someone saying, "Who does he think he is?"

"Let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith." Hebrews 12:1-2

"Ye have not because Ye ask not"James 4:2 p.31